You might be wondering what some of the off-limits topics are so you can avoid such pitfalls so I’m sharing with you from http:theclassywoman.blogspot.com.ng’ 5 Things You Should Always Keep Private’.
While there are many aspects of life that we should keep to ourselves (or at the very least only opt to confide in a Doctor, Psychologist/Mental Health Counselor, our parent(s), our spouse or the closest of trusted friends), there are 3 that rank highest in order of importance, they are: your level of income, details of your love life and the plans for your next move. In this article are an additional 2 which must to be overlooked. In this age of social media and reality TV where for many their life is an open book for all to read/watch.
We must be keenly aware and conscious not to cross the sometimes blurred line between public and private. Resist the urge of telling your story to anyone who will listen. Don’t give people the privilege of knowing everything about you.
1. INCOME: Unless you’re applying for a home loan or purchasing a new car, your salary should not be a topic of conversation and is best kept under wraps. Among colleagues and coworkers you just never know who earns what and it can create an uncomfortable working environment and can bring about negative emotions from others who have had a longer tenure within a company (especially if they earn less than you). In the company of friends, it can make them feel less than if you have a greater earning capacity however, if you earn less (especially far less) than your friends, they may feel you cannot afford certain outings and may even exclude you from events. Nothing good can come from sharing how much you make.
2. LOVE LIFE: The details of true intimacy between a couple are intended to be enjoyed only by the 2 parties involved. Recounting the details of one’s sexual escapades not only invites others into a space they don’t belong (and provides others with a visual they probably never wished for) but it creates a level of mistrust. The bedroom (or whatever place one chooses to experience private moments with their partner) is a sacred place, it involves trust, communication and an ability to feel safe as they are able to express and be themselves. This bond is broken when shared in passing during Monday morning water cooler conversation or while out for dinner with girlfriends. If something seems out of the ordinary, ask your health care provider or a sex therapist instead of everyone who you encounter. If you’re having the time of your life and thrilled with your partner, there may be a temptation to reveal how amazing everything is but it’s just not appropriate conversation and it creates an awkwardness between you and others. There is that old adage… never kiss and tell!
3. NEXT MOVE: Whether you’re planning to jump ship and leave your career behind to become a stay-at-home mom or you’re moving towards starting your own business, or you’re navigating the choppy waters of a difficult divorce, it’s wise to stay tight-lipped about future plans. There is something to be said for the element of surprise and while details are still being hashed out, it’s important be quiet and allow things to unfold as they do. First off, this can become gossip that certain people would love to feed off and run with and you never know who might tell what to whom. The more people you run your ideas or goals by, the higher the chance the information will get into the wrong hands. Let people see how your life unfolds by your actions, not your words. While some may say that being intentional and telling others what they’re doing is actually a form of accountability (and it can be in certain areas of our life such as beginning a new workout program when it’s shared with a trusted friend), generally speaking though most times it is not in your best interest.
4. MEDICAL CONDITIONS: Some people take comfort in being able to relate to others who share the same disease or illness they have, we all like to feel as though we have things in common with others, however be careful not to speak about what we know to be the negatives in life. It’s easy to adopt a victim mentality and/or find one’s identity within an illness. The danger in sharing your medical history and current condition is that it comes across as though you’re looking for others to feel sorry for you .
Many health-related topics can also be quite gross to hear about for the average person not in the medical field. It might be your day-to-day norm but completely foreign and cringe-worthy to another person who hears it in passing. I can assure you that nobody wants to hear about an oozing sore, hearing you talk about aches and pains nor do they want to know you that intimately. Even with a spouse or mate, it’s wise to use discretion. A health care provider is the best person to talk to and if necessary, a social group with others who are in your shoes.
5. RELATIONSHIP DETAILS: Whether you’re head over heels in love with your new sweetie or had a massive blowout disagreement with your significant other, while the details may seem like juicy gossip to some (you can almost guarantee your words will be repeated!), it’s not becoming of a lady to air out all of her dirty laundry for all to know about. We all have problems, no relationship is without the occasional argument or challenge, however when you share with others what is likely just venting in the moment, you violate the trust between yourself and your partner. Even if you had the best first date of your life and you’re dying to share-refrain. Once again, something gets taken away and it’s not as special once everyone knows about it. If you learned your husband, boyfriend or new date was sharing such details with his friends you’d likely feel a bit awkward, betrayed and maybe even embarrassed, not a great way to build a solid relationship.
Take heed and goodluck!